We have been able to finally sort out names of almost everyone. As I told you in the last update, children’s names were given as the husband at the time on census records and not their true name. That made for some interesting research. Now on to the other Questions. It seems that one ancestor married a man for a short time who was convicted of rape. It seems he had posed as a meter reader to obtain entry into the home. Not only that in investigating his marriages etc., we find that the first wife died from the third degree burns she suffered as a result of an EXPLOSION of kerosene in the home. Years later this same family had a young woman raped by someone who purported to be a meter reader, which may have resulted in the birth of a child. Curious. I will be trying to chase down the answers to these questions. This young lady has dna matches to some of her known relatives but not to others. This will be a real challenge and will require a lot of research into the dna matches she has.
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Well, I will tell you this young lady knew what she was talking about. What a challenge. I think everyone in her family married two or three times, and listed children on the census records as being the children of whomever they were married at the time rather than each child’s true name. I am glad to report tho that we have wadded thru and have been able to find the marriages that produced the children and have now put in the correct name for each child. So we have half, half brothers and sisters. Now that she has the right names she can go to the vital statistics dept in the county they were born in and find the birth certificates she was trying to find. There are times, and in this case it is true of the twins, the dept that should have the records may not and you have to go to the state. Interesting enough I called I got verification that the county does have the Mothers birth certificate. Sometimes records are lost also and this particular county did not have years 1921 – 1940. Don’t give up perhaps it will be like in this case, they were at the state level. Census records are really an important part of your research. Read them over thoroughly and be sure you are gleaning all the information they afford. If there is an adoption within the works here, I did not find it my first run thru. In order to find that it almost necessary to analyze the DNA results one by one, which I have not done. As it turned our she is also my 22nd cousin 1 times removed and her 11th great grandfather is also my husbands 10th great grandfather. It is really a small world.
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Just as a young lady I am now trying to help. Many of you take the test, do the work, hope to find out something about your family. You go down one rabbit hole after another and still never quit figure out what you were wanting to know. I must say she may be a little challenging. It involves adoptions, twins, family secrets. WOW. Life does get interesting and throws us some curves at times. The one thing I would encourage all of you to do is to be sure about the test you are spending money on BEFORE you do it. Ask yourself, exactly what am I trying to learn by taking this test? Is it going to answer my questions, or give me some interesting information about hunters and gatherers? If you are looking for your ancestors, the VERY best test to take is with Ancestry.com. They are having a sale for Father’s day and it is a perfect time to order your kit. Then it will be knowing what to do once you get the results back. I will be happy to consult with you to help you get thru it all.
So following my journey (I can see right now, we need to start naming these journeys, so we can tell them apart) I think this one should be So Many Questions Journey. It was interesting tho, the first crack out of the box I found that she had a relative who was related to my husbands family and lucky for her I have oodles of info on them. Now to the real questions she has about the others. I was able to also find the twin she had been looking for so now onto her question #2. I will keep you posted.
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Well, I am happy to say that the young man we have been following has gone thru his roller coaster ride finding out the truth and come out better for it. I know it wasn’t easy dealing with all the emotions that come about when you find what you thought was truth all you life was not. Especially when the people you love and trust and who should have your best interests at heart are not forthcoming. The Serenity Prayer might come in handy at this point:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Glad to say that this young man has learned a new respect for the man who he called Dad all his life and is realizing the REALLY has him in his corner. Hopefully any new siblings he finds will work out and I feel confident that with his attitude about it, whatever happens, he will be fine. I am in the process of making him a mini document showing his different grandparents and ancestors and proving his DNA results as far as ethnicity.
This has been an awesome journey and I want to thank him for allowing me to play a part in finding the Truth. Best of Everything young man!
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Update on our young man who was lucky enough this weekend to have me hone in on his true biological Father. Now in seeking out the further TRUTH, he is experiencing push back from people who are upset that he found the family secret and from those who now have a new half sibling. You have to be strong to take these steps; while it can be freeing, it can also be a challenge to deal with what is revealed and some people are just not ready to do that. None of us are responsible for our DNA. Our parents are the ones who made those decisions and children are innocent in the whole matter. Maybe they feel threatened if someone has died and left a lot of wealth. Maybe they are frightened about those Worldly possessions and about a claim against what they may have inherited. What someone generally is seeking who is in this situation, is the Truth and to feel like they know without a doubt who they are related to and that sense of belonging that we all crave. You will have to be ready and able to handle whatever is thrown at you and know in your heart you did the right thing for you. But if you live in fear you cannot be FREE.
I have done genealogy for over 35 years. Maybe you are stuck and need help or if you have something that is a problem and you don’t know where to go from here. Maybe you are ready to take the plunge and find out more about something you have a question about, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I posted about the young man who was trying to find out who his true father was by DNA. It takes a lot more than DNA to be a Father as I am sure you will all attest. That is part of what tore this young man in the decision making, but after long talks with his Father as he knew him all his life, they both agreed to go forward and do the DNA test as I had advised I thought would be so much better than just a paternity test. Aside from the expense, it has allowed us to start our journey. As it turned out, he was NOT the biological child of the Father he had always known. You should go into any testing with it in mind that you are open to what discoveries it may present you with. Are you willing to handle whatever it shows? Then there is the question of relationships. Are your relationships with both parents strong enough to withstand what may come. Often times you are letting a parent know something they may have suspected, but did not want to imagine. You may be accusing another of something that has been a deep dark secret all YOUR life. Whatever your DNA says, it DOES NOT lie. Be ready to handle what comes.
I will tell you our results came in and earlier than expected. We didn’t have that immediate finding like my previous posting for New Year’s Blessing about another young man searching for the truth, and it looked on first glance, like it might be a long hard journey. I am glad to report, after about 30 hours of research and going thru the DNA connections, I was able to find enough information that there was one family that stood out. I spent a number of hours researching that family and indeed they were the family of interest. It seems that this young man’s Grandfather was married to a woman and they had a child. They divorced and she remarried. The child was then adopted by the Stepfather. The child grew up, married and had children. Due to a relationship with the wife of OUR young man’s Father, they conceived this child. Is that confusing? Well, I wish you could have taken this journey with me. It was Rabbit Hole after another. Back in previous centuries when travel was by wagon, many families traveled to different locations together and therefore, intermarried into families….so brother and sister would marry sister and brother and likewise down and down thru the years. This makes things very interesting indeed. This particular young man had ancestors who all three of his children did this. Confusing to say the least. But glad to say we got there and he now knows his roots back to England and Ireland. Which by the way he was like 70% English and 22% Irish. This JOURNEY is not over, it has just begun.
Update, Our young man who said there was suppose to be a family secret about him had his DNA run a few weeks ago. It came back rather quickly and yesterday evening he gave me a call to look into his results. Well, it was as he suspected. There was no relation to the Father he had always known as Dad or any of the many family members who had taken the DNA test previously. There, was however, a long list of possibilities. This is exactly why I told him to have his DNA run rather than spending the $179 for a paternity test. The paternity test would have only told us what we found out…that his Dad was NOT his father, but we would not have had all these clues to go thru to try to locate his real ancestry, and all for the small price of ONE DNA kit. Thus the Journey Begins. I worked on it with him last night and I must say it is promising. His situation was rather unique, in that the man we think is the father was adopted, or so they said. Often times, as in my own family, when someone dies, a family member takes a child and raises it and adopts it. This may or may not be the situation in this case, but it is a good place to look. Questions still remain, but I believe I have tracked his mother thru the information on the lst, 2nd, third and 4th cousins and a few lucky breaks in the obituaries. Now to figure out the real Father. That will take some doing, but I believe we are the right track.
We all want to know the truth. There is nothing worse than not knowing. As they say, the TRUTH will set you free. DNA can be so rewarding and can help you find your TRUE ancestry, and give you that sense of belonging we all long for as well as the medical information we may need.
Keep checking back to see where the JOURNEY leads us.
Let’s sit back and think about a world where DNA is an everyday tool to be used for many things. In a perfect world, where we all were tested for our DNA and it went into a database, can you imagine how that could change the criminal justice system? Do you dare to commit a crime and if you do, the first one where DNA of any kind is left at the scene, you’d have some explaining to do. When you had your DNA run you could find out any medical issues that might be hidden within your DNA, which could help you modify your lifestyle so as not to experience those life threatening events, like heart attack. There are certain ones of us who have that embedded in our DNA. It is like, for generation upon generation, they all died of heart attack or stroke. Imagine being able to stop that recurrence. It could also warn you of bipolar disease and other mental problems. Maybe you could get treated sooner. And maybe, just maybe they could eventually figure out how to use that new tool CRISPR to fix the faulty gene that caused your mental disease, just as they can now find the gene that causes Cystic Fibrosis and other diseases that are so severe and are passed on thru your DNA. It could literally, be Heaven on Earth.
This evening I was watching Investigation ID. I got into the show a little late, but I learned that there was a killer who had been extremely hard to catch. They had his DNA from a 23 year old rape kit and came up with a match. When they found this man they got a search warrant for his home and why they were checking behind sheetrock, I can only presume the man must have confessed and told them where to look for evidence. They found 150 polaroids of women, some obviously dead, some it was hard to tell. They had the task of matching up these women with missing persons and some of them had been attacked by this man, but were still alive. They ended up with 35 women they could not figure out what happened to them. But thanks to DNA technology he was convicted on 10 counts of murder, rape and kidnapping. He awaits execution in San Quentin Prison. Can you imagine how many lives may have been saved if DNA had been possible sooner.